on Wednesday, June 26, 2013 @ 1:14 AM
Trying to make this work but man these times are hard.
on Monday, May 6, 2013 @ 7:34 PM
i'm so tired of living
Please go away
on Saturday, April 20, 2013 @ 11:27 PM
I'm not happy to be here. It means there are things I'm slowly keeping to myself, again.
I need to be alone for a while
Singing blues is getting old
on Saturday, October 20, 2012 @ 12:38 AM
I'm tired of feeling like I'm fucking crazy.
on Tuesday, April 24, 2012 @ 3:31 AM
i can be whatever you want
mould me, shape me
but please don't break me
Feet don't fail me now
on @ 3:10 AM
...take me to the finish line.
They say love makes you do foolish things.
I can't tell you how many times I've felt like a fool.
Pursuing the man your mother warned you about your whole life.
Finding yourself doing things, awful things that your friends and family would be ashamed of.
Things that you yourself, deep down, are ashamed of.
But you do it anyway, because you love. And most of the time you just find yourself in your room staring at the four walls wondering what exactly are you're doing with your life.
When people know for you being sensible and strong, mature beyond your years
But how did she end up like this.
Ambitions, former positions and privileges and achievements. the respect i commanded
Cast into the shadows because of my mistakes. Baggage
He showed me the glory of believing in God, you laugh at such blind faith
She tells me I can find better, you say I'll never be happier with anyone else
You challenged everything I believed in since the day we met. Warped my perception of right and wrong.
Thrown me into this spiral of love and helplessness but it is so painfully blissful.
I don't deserve so many of life's trials. I'm a good girl. They say obstacles make you stronger. I want to fuck 'them' up someday. At the end of the day I just, feel like I don't know who I am. I've become, aware.
The burden I've carried, the responsibility of life in my hands, inside me, having to make decisions that no one/nothing prepared me for. Having to live with such decisions. Alone.
Alone. I'm so alone. Not lonely, I don't yearn for anyone. I'm just, on my own.
We all are, technically. I hate being aware. Knowing so much, feeling so much.
I don't want to 'take things in my stride', or 'be strong', or 'do what's best for me'. I think I've done pretty well considering what I've had to go through. I know others have it harder, but shut up
i am so tired
i really am. so tired i can't sleep
i like solitude, hate being alone
can everyone just leave me alone
god i don't want to be alone
i don't want to feel or think or love
i just want to be me
this is so hard, every day
love why do you make me do this, every day
nothing worth getting is ever easy but what if i don't even get you at the end of the road?
i am not a naive girl, i am scared and always will be
circumstances change people
...and it's changing me
Baggage
on @ 1:50 AM
God fucking damnit I hate having to prepare my heart every time someone has to break something to me.
Guess this feeling of solitude is here to stay.
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Beverley, 18. Introvert.